The Joy of Power, Pleasure, and Taboo │ How to Joy Podcast
The Joy of Power, Pleasure, and Taboo: Behind the Mic with How to Joy
There are some conversations that feel less like “content creation” and more like sacred playdates, and recording “The Joy of Power, Pleasure, and Taboo” with my beloved friend Maggie for her How to Joy podcast was exactly that.
From the moment we curled up in my high‑rise Denver nest, looking out over the city lights, it felt like we were inviting you into our friendship, our giggles, and our very real stories about love, kink, and healing.
Reuniting With Maggie On Air
Maggie and I have known each other for years, weaving in and out of each other’s lives as friends, lovers, and co‑conspirators in joy. We reminisced about femme pillow parties, shared baths with candles and selfies, and the tenderness of staying connected even after our romantic relationship shifted into a deep, enduring friendship.
One of my favorite parts of the episode is how you can actually hear our affection and history together—this isn’t a sterile interview, it’s two humans who adore each other, remembering epic nights, polyamorous love, and all the ways we choose to keep showing up.
Joy, Kink, And Being A Sensual Sadist
If you’ve followed me as Lady Sokha for a while, you know I am a sensual sadist, a service top, and a deeply feeling human who loves some of the edgiest “taboo” flavors of kink. In this conversation, Maggie gave me all the space in the world to talk about what actually brings me joy: Nerf guns with needles in the bullets, blood play, cock and ball torture, sissy play, scat, pegging gang‑bang anniversaries, and laughing so hard I can barely stand up while my subs devote themselves to my pleasure.
You’ll hear me talk about why sadism is my love language, why I feel closest to someone when they’re willing to suffer for my joy, and how much delight I get from those “fuck noises” and subby, devoted eyes. And you’ll also hear how goofy, giggly, and tender kink can be—this is not all dark dungeon aesthetic; there is so much laughter and ridiculous joy in the play.
From Social Worker To Pro Domme (And Professional Cuddler)
We also traced my path from social worker with a master’s in social work, to professional cuddler, to foot worship sessions on the beach in LA, to working in a dungeon as a pro submissive, and eventually stepping fully into my power as a pro Domme. I share how I realized talk therapy wasn’t enough for the kind of healing I wanted to offer, and how touch, kink, and embodiment opened an entirely different channel for transformation.
In the episode, I talk about using my social work skills every single day as a Domme: building rapport, holding trauma‑informed space, and treating the Dom/sub bond as one of the most sacred, intimate relationships I know. I also share why ethical training, mentorship, and doing your own inner work are non‑negotiable if you’re going to hold power in this way.
Kink As Therapy, Healing, And Surrender
This conversation goes far beyond “kink is fun” (though, yes, it is very fun). We get into how impact play, power exchange, and intense taboo scenes can move stuck energy, help release stored trauma in the body, and create more space for pleasure and joy.
I talk openly about my own history of childhood sexual trauma, my healing through psychotherapy, plant medicine, Tantra, and kink, and why I now refuse to do anything in my work that doesn’t bring me genuine joy. You’ll also hear about my recent experience hiring a male Dom and using that session as a ritual of surrender to life itself—envisioning myself as a leaf in a river, sometimes floating gently, sometimes torn on rocks, learning how to feel insignificant and at peace.
Touch, Cuddling, And Caring For Those The World Forgets
One of the tenderest threads in this episode is our conversation about touch: how starved so many people (especially men) are for safe, non‑sexual, nurturing contact. I share stories of professional cuddling clients who hadn’t been hugged by a woman in over a decade, and of survivors of sexual assault who weren’t ready to date but needed someone to simply hold them while they cried.
We talk about how this culture sexualizes touch, shames men for affection, and leaves lonely, sensitive humans isolated, and how my work in cuddling, kink, and caretaking feels like a rebellion against that. Sometimes the most radical thing I do is let someone rest their head in my lap while I stroke their hair and remind their nervous system that they are safe.
Playing With Taboo, Ethically And With So Much Laughter
If you’re curious about taboo kinks—scat, blood, sissification, heavy impact, intense scenes—you’ll hear me talk about them unapologetically, with a lot of nuance and zero shame. We also share practical advice: vet your Dom, get multiple references, learn about consent, take classes, and don’t let someone tie you up without a safe word or a real conversation.
I love being a voice for the toilets, the masochists, the ass sluts, the weirdos who think they’re “too much” for the world. In this episode, I wanted them—and you—to feel seen, less alone, and maybe even a little more proud of your desires.
Why You Might Want To Listen (Even If You’re Vanilla)
You do not have to share my kinks to get something from this conversation. If you’ve ever been curious about BDSM, ethical non‑monogamy, or why anyone would want to be beaten, pegged, or used as a toilet, this is a gentle, honest, and often hilarious doorway into that world.
We talk about power, surrender, joy, trauma, healing, friendship, and what it means to live as your whole, complex self in a world that would rather you stay small and quiet. Even if kink is not your path, my hope is that you find more compassion for those of us who walk it—and more permission to explore your own edges, whatever they are.
Listen To The Episode
You can listen to “The Joy of Power, Pleasure, and Taboo” on the How to Joy podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or just click here.
If it moves you, please share it with a friend, leave a review for Maggie, and let us know what resonated. And if you find yourself laughing, squirming, turned on, or suddenly feeling less alone in your weirdness—well, that’s the point.
With so much wicked, tender joy,
Lady Sokha 💄🖤